On God and Religion

Don't pray in my school, and I won't think in your church
- unknown

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer
- unknown

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day;
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime;
give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish
- unknown

Those who believe absurdities will commit atrocities
- Voltaire

Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's?
- Friedrich Nietzsche

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs
- unknown

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend
- Richard Jeni

Men never commit evil so fully and joyfully as when they do it for religious convictions
- Blaise Pascal

I do not believe in God because I do not believe in Mother Goose
- Clarence Darrow


I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward
- G.K. Chesterton

Do not pass by my epitaph, traveler.
But having stopped, listen and learn, then go your way.
There is no boat in Hades, no ferryman Charon,
No caretaker Aiakos, no dog Cerberus.
All we who are dead below
Have become bones and ashes, but nothing else.
I have spoken to you honestly, go on, traveler,
Lest even while dead I seem loquacious to you.
- Roman Tombstone

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest
-Denis Diderot

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk
- Tom Waits

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"
- Annie Dillard, 'Pilgrim at Tinker Creek'

I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence
- Doug McLeod

The world holds two classes of men - intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence
- Abu Ala Al-Ma'arri

You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do
- unknown

I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens, he came in peace and then died, only to come back to life,

and his name was E.T., the extra terestrial. I loved that little guy.
- Reverend Lovejoy (in the simpsons)

This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of

fools. Now let us say the lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate.
- Reverend Lovejoy (in the simpsons)

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we

don't want to know! Important things!
- Ned Flanders (in the simpsons)

I put out these milk and cookies as a sacrifice. If Thou wishest me to eat them, please give me a
sign by doing absolutely nothing. MMMMmmmm...
- Homer Simpson